The Extra Mile

Everywhere we see that people are searching for identity, something to believe in, searching for a place to belong, and searching for purpose. Nowhere does this seem more evident than in the youth of today. As educators, parents, employers, and anyone that interacts with teens, we look for ways to help meet these needs, to encourage them, to help them find purpose. Recently, in one of our teacher meetings we were told that a majority of this generation of young people sums up their feelings in the word, "overwhelmed". I would venture to say that most of us want to help them, want to give them hope.

We have various programs that we implement hoping to find that magic solution that will attract the teens to learning, that will get them on the path to finding a purpose, and that will instill in them a desire to succeed. However, often this is the last thing on their minds or at least in what our view of success is. I am not going to give you some program that I know will for sure work or some new exciting curriculum as the solution. In working with teens for the last 30 years, I have come to realize, whether they admit it or not, the key to reaching them is love. We often are nice to the teens we work with, but do we have the genuine heart and motivation of love? I understand and relate to the fact that sometimes the god of curriculum or our agenda doesn’t really have time for all the extras that genuine love entails. However, I have seen first hand how the student who is constantly on their phone, a loner, or a rebel responds with the most sincere forms of interest in their life. When I have a student like this, I really mentally prepare myself not to be dissuaded by their initial lack of interest in school or even in conversation with me.

One student, told me that as soon as he was old enough he was quitting school. He told me that he didn’t need a diploma for what he planned to do and that was it. I just nodded my head and started asking him about what he planned to do. It had to do with working cattle. He didn’t seem that interested in conversation, but each day I casually asked him about his cattle and other things about his interests. He started seeking me out to share pictures, etc. One day, he was in an accident. I went to his house with balloons and a gift. When I showed up, he said to his mom, “I knew she would come. None of the other teachers have even called, but I knew she would come”. That young man and I went on to form a beautiful relationship of mutual respect, and he graduated high school.

I often do different things to invest in my students out of a heart of love. I try to go that extra mile. Each day as I take attendance, I ask them a different question. They have come to love these questions, and it is a great way to get know them better. For birthdays, I keep some candy, bags, and little toys in my desk to make a small birthday bag for them and play a fun birthday song I found on Youtube for them. I tell them that I think birthday are so important because it was the day they came into this world, and we are so glad they did. On their card, I write, “Happy Birthday Ethan! The day you were born, the world became a much better place!”. The first day of class I talk to them about the Einstein quote that I have on my wall which says, “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”. I tell them that everyone has a different thing they are good at. Biology might or might not be their thing, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t a genius at something else. They just need to explore and find their bent. There are many other things I do as little extras that end up meaning a lot and being a big thing to some of my students. When teens see how much we genuinely care about them, it makes all the difference. As they say, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”.